I remember opening our front door in the crisp early December air and walking barefoot on our concrete porch. It was 3am, and I couldn't sleep. So I decided to hang up Christmas lights. I was bored out of my mind and I had cried every tear I had left. I had also already reorganized the entire kitchen. It had been a month since my baby girl had died. My sleep was suffering so severely that I was worried what was going to happen when I went back to work in less than a month. I had struggled with insomnia for most of my life, but now it was different. Now, I not only couldn't fall sleep but when I did fall asleep it was at all the wrong hours of the day. So I was sleeping from 3am-1pm on average for two months straight. Once I went back to work that rhythm helped me a little, but I was still severely sleep deprived and I had to drink lots of caffeine to stay awake. 7 months after that first Christmas and my current sleep schedule was about 11/12pm-8am. And two years later my sleep schedule still looks like 11/12pm-7:15am on work days (I sleep about 11 hrs on Friday and Saturday nights....so there is some obvious catching up going on still). I drink espresso and have no more than 2 medium lattes before noon....usaully it's just one if I slept pretty good. So it's still very tense but it has vastly improved. Don't get discouraged, just keep consistency and routine and try new options.
Melatonin - this can be an easy go-to solution, but be aware sometimes it can make you groggy in the AM. Try taking around dinner time for the best rest.
ASMR/White Noise - a slightly weird option, but I have been a heavy ASMR listener for years and found it super helpful. I use YouTube with headphones and I love videos that just sound like rain on a tin roof, but sometimes I can fall alseep to a narrated story or personal attention ASMR. Whispering or soft spoken is best.
White noise/Earplugs - A white noise machine or earplugs can be helpful if you sleep in the same bed as your partner (especially if they snore like mine does). My partner lost 10 pounds which helped immensely, but we also simultaneously bought this $15 white noise machine from Amazon that I fell in love with.
Tea - Sleepytime tea. It seriously works wonders. Camomile tea is a good alternative.
Yoga/Stretching/Exercise - I love to lay flat on the floor with my arms stretched above my head and focus on my breathing. But anything to get your body in a more relaxed state will help you to sleep better.
Limiting screen time / Replace with reading - if you have the habit of watching tv before bed try replacing it with reading a book with warmer, softer lighting. You could also try knitting/crochet instead of reading if that works better for you.
Weighted blank - I got one from Walmart for $20 and it has been a miracle for me. I also got to make a handmade washable cover for it which was a fun project.
Blackout curtains/Eye mask - make your room as dark as possible with no lights. This helps to promote sleep.
Medication - talk to a psychiatrist or your primary care physician about medication that might help you sleep on nights when you really need it. You can also try generic store-brand sleep aid gels like Benadryl (I personally found these to be the best thing for me since I have insomnia).
Your partner keeps you up - my husband snores very loudly and has mild sleep hypopnea (he got a sleep study done just a few months after we lost Gemma because I was struggling so badly with sleep). We managed to get ahold of a free CPAP machine with new parts and it completely solved the snoring issue. He's currently working with his sleep medicine doctor to get an Rx for insurance-covered parts and they are willing to let him continue using it. Outside of my grief sleep issues this was the #1 solution to both of our sleep quality improving. Our smart watches/Fitbits registered 10+ point increase in our sleep quality immediately and for weeks after he first started on the CPAP (high 80s for me, low 90s for him). So if your partner snores and that is a major reason you can't sleep and have anxiety around going to bed, I highly suggest getting them a sleep study if you can do it.
The information provided on this site is for educational purposes only, and does not substitute for professional medical advice.