If you are considering pumping your breastmilk to donate, you are a true hero. It takes a lot of compassion to give back while you are still in the freshest parts of your grief. Thank you for considering this option. Pumping after loss isn't for everyone, but for those who want to try it can be very rewarding. That made me so happy and proud that I could feed someone even if it wasn't my own baby. I am thankful I got to experience the changes my body went through and remember my Gemma through that.
Drying Up
Use cabbage leaves. Whether you use actual cabbage leaves or something like CaboCreme, it can be very helpful for drying up your milk. If you need help with this or are getting engorged, reach out to your hospital's lactation services and ask for help.
Pumping
Find a breast pump or borrow one - if you are donating milk to a family that already has a pump you might be able to borrow it from them in exchange for providing milk. The family we donated to provided me with bags and I used the pump parts I already had (and the hospital gave me some because I had my daughter for a few days and we wanted to pump the colostrum for her). Or, put some feelers out there to a local moms/kids Facebook group and ask if anyone has a pump they're not currently using that you could borrow. Just make sure to sanitize everything really, really well, even if it's brand new.
Get comfortable pumping & create a space - I opted for the sleeper sofa in the nursery with a cubbie next to an outlet. I kept fresh milk bags, paper towels (for spills), headphones, a phone charger, and a clean measuring jar nearby. I had lots of things to feel calm and comfortable nearby. The rest of my setup was in the kitchen where I washed and sterilized pump parts after each use and sterilized them daily. Any chair or rocker will do. I recall pumping immediately after the funeral for my baby girl. On the floor in the corner of the master bedroom with the door locked, my family milled about our house with sandwiches. I could hear my grandmothers talking in the nursery as they admired the work we had put into preparing it. In the later weeks as it got icy cold at night I would often wear a super oversized hoodie over my pumping setup to keep warm. And sometimes I would just pump topless, and wear whatever stretchy bra I had available (not necessarily a pumping or maternity bra, since I would just take it off completely).
Finding a baby who needs the milk - There will almost always be babies that need the breastmilk you have available. You can try a "Human Milk 4 Human Babies" Facebook group, or find your state's Milk Bank:
United States:
- Alabama
- Arkansas
- California
- Colorado
- Florida
- Illinois
- Indiana
- Iowa
- Louisiana
- Massachusetts
- Michigan
- Minnesota
- Mississippi
- New Mexico
- New York
- North Carolina
- Ohio
- Oklahoma
- Oregon
- Pennsylvania
- South Carolina
- Tennessee
- Texas
- Utah
- Virginia
Canada:
- Alberta
- British Columbia
- Ontario
Get rest and nourishment - you will be tired and your body needs lots of food and calories to produce good breast milk. Make sure you are getting good rest and eating well. In the end, my depression, stress, and lack of appetite was what made my own milk supply completely dry up after pumping for only a month. But that was my uphill battle at the time, and I had to accept that that was ok. I have a post with some easy and nourishing recipes you are welcome to use if this part of your journey.
Additional Resources:
If you don't already have a Haakaa, I highly suggest getting one to catch milk during letdown. You can pump on one side and use the Haakaa on the other, then switch. It allows for 1) better suction on the pump side, and 2) you only have to clean one set of pump parts per session. My "measuring jar" was a large glass container that also held the Haakaa milk when I switched sides so that it wouldn't overflow.
Aeroflow - I used Aeroflow to request a breast pump through insurance. It covered my pump 100% (I got a corded Spectra). Keep in mind it takes several weeks to be approved and then have it shipped. I am not sure of insurance' rules regarding covering a breast pump even after a pregnancy has ended, but I would think it would be covered. I just happened to order mine about two months into my pregnancy and I had it when I needed it.
Bridget Teyler YouTube Playlist for Breastfeeding/Pumping Help & Tips
Other Reads:
"How Pumping After Loss Helped Me Heal" by Emily Grorud on Still Standing Magazine
"Pumping to Heal a Broken Heart" by Meagan Pierluissi on PALS