My daughter, Ally, asked me if I would write a little bit about my grief journey of losing our granddaughter Gemma.
I am a grandfather with no living grandchildren. We lost little Gemma, our first grandchild, a few days after she was born at 23 weeks in November 2021, not a whole year ago. By the time we made the drive from our home to the hospital in Charlotte, she had lost her brief battle to survive. We had just one hour or so to hold her tiny little body, less than the weight of an apple or an orange. Fingers about the size of GI Joe with the kung fu grip. But no kung fu grip. We never heard her breath or laugh or cry. We will have to wait until heaven to find out whether she likes blueberries or strawberries better.
I have been blessed by a few things since that awful day.
I was blessed by the memorial service by Mecklenburg Community Church and the friends and family who came.
Watching my son-in-law and daughter create this ministry called Gemmas Hope reminds me that there is great blessing in witnessing what some people do with their grief, seeing how they take their pain and try to find ways to ease suffering for those coming behind them. That can restore your faith in parts of humanity. It can awaken in you a desire to do what you can.
I have also been blessed by the podcast “The Naked Bible Podcast” which teaches that the innocent are not in some inheritance of condemnation from Adam, but rather merely inherit mortality and that as a mercy. This video reassured me that little Gemma can hold hands with Jesus whenever she wants. As he says,
“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."
Luke 18:16-17
The God who stitched little Gemma in her mother’s womb surely did not abandon her days later through no fault of hers, of this I am sure. Without little Gemma’s brief life I would not have tuned in and searched for this gap in my understanding of the Bible, now filled with reassurance and confidence for the innocent.
Did you know it’s Grandparents Day on September 11? I didn’t. To be honest with no living grandchildren around I wish I didn’t know it. But, thanks again to the Naked Bible Podcast I believe that September 11, 3BC a little boy was born in Bethlehem. And that birth changed everything. So this year will be my first year “celebrating” grandparents day which I will do by celebrating Yeshua’s birth (what his mother called him). I’ll be celebrating that my granddaughter Gemma is in the hands and care of my Lord and Savior. And celebrating that when all the music ends and the trumpet blasts I’ll have a young woman to go get to meet and a savior to thank. Until then I’ll be celebrating the precious lives of my daughter and son-in-law, who created Gemma’s Hope, and hoping that it brings some comfort to its visitors and I’ll be celebrating the community in Gemma’s Hope that helps others.
I am sorry you are here in this place. But we are here together. We can support each other and grieve together. We can help the others as they arrive and hold their hands and cry as they cry.
Updated on 12/28/2022