How to Share with Others That Your Baby Died

Experiencing pregnancy loss or the death of a baby is an unimaginably painful and deeply personal experience—one that stands in stark contrast to the joyful moment of announcing a pregnancy. Instead of sharing excitement and hope, you are now faced with the heartbreaking task of telling others about your loss. Finding the words to express this grief can be incredibly difficult. Whether you choose to share the news in person, over the phone, through a message, or via social media, there is no right or wrong way—only what feels most bearable for you. This guide offers suggestions to help navigate this deeply challenging process.

Consider Who You Want to Tell Personally

Not everyone in your life needs to hear the news directly from you. You might want to personally tell close family members, best friends, or those who were deeply involved in your pregnancy or baby’s life. Others, such as acquaintances, coworkers, or distant relatives, can be informed in a less personal way.

• Immediate Family & Close Friends: If you feel up to it, telling them in person or over the phone allows for personal connection and support.
• Coworkers & Acquaintances: If you’re comfortable, you can ask a trusted friend, family member, or supervisor to share the news on your behalf.

Choose Your Method of Communication

Depending on your comfort level, different methods of sharing may feel more or less suitable for you.

In Person or Over the Phone

• Keep it simple: “I wanted to let you know that our baby, [baby’s name], passed away.”
• If you need support, have a trusted person with you.
• Let people know how they can support you (e.g., space, prayers, meals, or simply listening).

Text, Email, or Social Media

For some, writing is easier than speaking. This also gives people time to process the news before responding.

Example message:“It is with deep sadness that we share that our beloved baby, [baby’s name], was born on [date] but is no longer with us. Our hearts are broken, and we appreciate your love, prayers, and understanding as we grieve. We ask for patience as we navigate this loss.”

You may also choose to provide information about how people can support you, such as meal trains, or links to charities to donate in your baby’s honor.

Prepare for Different Reactions

Not everyone will respond in a way that feels helpful or supportive. Some may say things that are unintentionally hurtful, while others may not know what to say at all. It’s okay to set boundaries, redirect conversations, or step away from discussions that don’t serve your healing.

• If someone responds insensitively, you can say: “I appreciate your concern, but I just need you to listen right now.”
• If you don’t want to talk about it, you can say: “I’m not ready to discuss this, but I appreciate your support.”

Set Boundaries Around Your Grief

You are not obligated to share every detail unless you want to. It’s okay to:

• Limit how much you share and with whom.
• Ask people not to bring up certain topics.
• Take breaks from social interactions if needed.

Seek Support

Sharing your loss can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. Consider:

• Asking a trusted friend or family member to communicate on your behalf.
• Joining a bereavement support group.
• Speaking with a grief counselor.

Final Thoughts

Telling others that your baby has died is one of the hardest things a parent can face. There is no perfect way to do it, only what feels right for you. Give yourself grace, take your time, and surround yourself with those who offer kindness and support.